Nicola Davies
(also known as Nikki Anthony)
Oh poor Ernie’s going bald
He won’t be told
Now he’s losing all his hair
But he don’t care
When he stands beneath the light
His scalp shines bright, alright
What’s the difference if I say
He’s going grey
When I know he’ll refuse wearing a toupée
For whatever Ernie is,
His hair’s his
For ever more
Sample 2:
(from the TV series “GETTING EVEN” : about Robert and his Oedipus Complex.
To be sung to the tune of: "I KNOW WHY(AND SO DO YOU)"
Why is Robert snookered by mother, when he should be ‘chalking his cue’?
An obsolete utensil - no lead in his pencil! I know why and so do you.
Why does Robert talk of New England; three for tea and not ‘Tea for Two’ ?
Don’t go to Niagara .... Get him some Viagra! I know why and so do you.
When you started out, sex was like : ‘Hammer and Tongs’,
Now he’s hammered out, willy-nilly goes his ‘filet mignon’!
Every mother’s son loves his mammy; some much more than others, it’s true
But if you find his pecker playing peek-a-boo...... Mum’s the word, and she’s taboo!
Sample 1:
(If Eric Morecambe had wanted a ‘gag song’ about Ernie Wise).
How deep are his pockets, how high is he strung?
How good are his prospects, how well is he hung?
How many times a day does he call his mum?
If he’s an orphan, the answer is none!
How long will you tarry with ‘Oedipus Rex’?
And how can you marry, when mother’s a hex?
And if you find his ‘pistol’ don’t aim for the moon
What good is a cowpoke who can’t reach ‘High Noon’?
